The work delves into the enduring impact of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Initially, my intention was to explore identity's complexity and the interplay between inner emotions and outward appearances. However, my PTSD was triggered before the photographic session, infusing the process with an embodiment of that visceral experience. Initially, I considered the photographs unsuccessful due to issues like a dirty lens, footprints on the backdrop, and two exhausted batteries. However, I later found that these imperfections had assisted in organically and authentically capturing my raw emotions.
The work consists of 8 black-and-white self-portrait images of the head and shoulders, dressed in dark clothing, whilst the face and light hair starkly contrast against the black background. The initial 3 images employ a double exposure effect, with the primary figure exuding emotion and the ghostly twin lurking behind. The fourth image presents a defocused, blurry fusion and the fifth image captures rapid facial movement, creating an ethereal haze. The sixth and seventh images continue the double exposure theme, portraying the primary figure expressing confidence as the ghostly twin recedes. The final image reveals a self-assured, solitary primary figure gazing directly at the viewer. The figures do not display overt facial expressions, relying on composition, principles and elements of design to convey emotion, such as, movement, light, repetition, breaking the frame and playing with the plane of focus. Using a Nikon D3200 with an 18-55mm lens, I maintained quality ISO200, controlling light with a small aperture (f-stop 36) due to the 10-second shutter speed, with minimal studio lighting to prevent overexposure. For printing, I selected a smooth matte finish on Canson Rag Photographique 310gsm paper.
Assuming the roles of both photographer and subject added an element of unpredictability resulting in a genuine and unfiltered representation.I aimed to create a dreamy, blurred, double exposure effect, transcending mere representation to an otherworldly atmosphere, encouraging viewers into a deeper emotional connection with the work. The ghostly doppelganger symbolises the unpredictable and haunting nature of PTSD. By moving the head, I aimed to capture a shifting cognitive state while anchoring the body grounded in familiarity. The defocused image represents the loss of self and the deliberate facial erasure through movement prompts viewers to contemplate what is missing. Inspired by David Rosetzky's approach to identity, I aimed to challenge the traditional notion of portraits simulating identity rather than revealing it. I drew inspiration from Bill Jacobson's use of blurry and defocused imagery as a metaphor for inner states and from Alyson Belcher and Nicole Small, who use pinhole cameras with long exposures to capture movement and create a blurred focus. While considering text inspired by Duane Michal, class critique led me to omit it from my work.
My work unapologetically reveals my personal journey following a PTSD trigger: intrusive memories and the surge of intense emotions, my loss of bearings, deliberate efforts to regain equilibrium, and a return to my authentic self. Sharing these deeply intimate images offers a glimpse into my world of PTSD, a condition that defies easy description.
Rachel Wolfe
12 October 2023
Rachel Wolfe is an emerging artist based in Hobart, Tasmania, currently pursuing a Bachelor of Fine Arts at the University of Tasmania. With a diverse and evolving practice, Rachel explores various mediums and techniques to create captivating and thought-provoking works of art. To explore Rachel's latest projects and artistic journey, visit her website www.rachelwolfe.com.au or follow her on social media.
'Lasting Impacts, an Unapologetic Self Portrait', a Reflective Artist Statement was written for assessment, Bachelor of Fine Arts, University of Tasmania
FSA111 - Photography, Assessment Task 3 - Folio Project: Series, Sequence and Narrative
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